‘The Five’ Throws a Birthday Bash for Dana Perino

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DANA PERINO: It’s time for “One More Thing”.

Kimberly, kick us off.

KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE: All right. Well, today everybody is one of the best birthdays of all time. America’s snow globe, Dana Perino, celebrating a fantastic birthday today.

So, we thought it would be fun to go to the friends around the building and they put together a package. Take a look.


SEAN HANNITY, FOX NEWS HOST: I told my friends on THE FIVE and you are my friends, the cable news break-out show of the year by far. Listen, first of all, congratulations to everybody. But a special congratulations today to our good friend, Dana Perino. It’s her birthday.

CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER, FOX NEWS POLITICAL ANALYST: Salutations, Dana Perino, presidential press secretary, FOX News anchor, commentator extraordinaire. Good and devoted, friend. Congratulations on finally turning 30.

MEGYN KELLY, FOX NEWS ANCHOR: Happy birthday, Dana. A beautiful, talented, smart and kind woman for whom I have nothing but respect. I also like the fact that you’re a little spit fire. Go, Dana!


STEVE DOOCY, FOX NEWS ANCHOR: Indeed, if you notice that the banks were closed today, it’s because it’s Dana Perino’s birthday. A national holiday at the Perino house.

BRIAN KILMEADE, FOX NEWS ANCHOR: And, of course, everyone knows what to give Dana. And hat is cash. Give her cash.

DOOCY: And she likes it multiple of five.

KARL ROVE, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Happy birthday, Dana P. Just think of all the amazing things we accomplished in 27 short years of life. It’s amazing what you’ve done. To have you now be a star on THE FIVE, treasure our friendship. You are one of the smartest, nicest, loveliest, most integrity-filled people I know. And I’m honored to call you my friend and I wish you the best on this. Many, many, many happy returns.


PERINO: That is so nice, I cannot believe Bill O’Reilly didn’t do one. That was so nice. This morning, going to Karl Rove and do the event this morning.

GREG GUTFELD: I got you a present.

PERINO: What is it?

GUTFELD: You were, I knew you would like. This it’s just —

PEINO: Oh, no.

GUTFELD: — giant picture.

PERINO: — awesome.

GUTFELD: I think you can put it anywhere in the apartment.

PERINO: Greg and I are actually brother and sister separated at birth.

BECKEL: Put that in the bathroom.

GUILFOYLE: Can I tell you something? You look a little bloated in that. Does everybody else think that?

GUTFELD: This was taken after a long night.

GUILFOYLE: That is before your Bowflex diet, you look puffy syndrome? If you know what I mean.

PERINO: Do you want to do the one more thing?

Can I do mine then? Because it’s really great. One thing I thought about the underwear bomber, the upgraded special underwear bomber and the warning from the CIA that there is more of them. So, I had this idea in the commercial break. And Eric approved upon it.

Here’s what I think the CIA should do.

Make a fake viral video, video that goes viral that looks homemade of an underwear bomber preparing and something going wrong on he dies and he gets to heaven, and there are the 72 virgins but his ding-ding is blown off.

If we did that and accept it around, all the people who might be a suicide bomber would actually say, oh, maybe it’s not a good idea.

BOB BECKEL: Do you know the chance of you saying that a year ago when we started that? Ding-ding. I mean, that’s a big step forward.

GUILFOYLE: You have become very provocative.

PERINO: You don’t think it was a good idea?

GUTFELD: I think you should apologize to America for saying, “ding- ding.”


BOLLING: Anyway, top of the muffin only.

GUTFELD: I’ll eat the rest of it.

GUILFOYLE: It’s a cupcake. Not a muffin.

BECKEL: I’m offended by the ding-ding thing. But I’ll let it go because it’s your birthday.

PERINO: That was really nice that everybody said that.

GUILFOYLE: That is very sweet. And we just want to tell you for the record, we didn’t have to twist arms. Everybody said, yes, we can.

PERINO: Can I say for the record that some people, when we had your 21st birthday, nobody has mistaken me for being 21. But they did think you were 21.


BECKEL: Well, the only thing was none of us were willing to say anything.

PERINO: I know. I notice that.

BECKEL: Happy birthday, Dana.

PERINO: Now my picture of Greg is bigger than your picture, Greg.

Thank you, everybody. Bye.

BECKEL: Happy birthday! Happy birthday, young girl.